


If you would have me

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dorian's new puppy, Fluff, M/M, and some food theft, just mostly fluff, like a little bit of not fluff at the begining but after that just endless fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian leaves for Tevinter in one year and Cullen wants to be sure before he leaves he knows exactly how much Cullen loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Token

Cullen couldn't sleep. It used to be a common problem, back when withdrawal was set deep in his bones and nightmares festered in his dreams. Lately it was not so, while he knew he would never be completely well, that his forced addiction would continue to nag at him until the day he died, it no longer racked his body. Now it was but a gentle whisper in the back of his mind when he was left alone with his thoughts. The nightmares were chased away by a warm body in his bed, a silken voice to whisper soothing words to him, and strong arms to anchor him to reality as they wrapped around his waist, just as they were doing now. 

He looked down at Dorian, running his hand idly through the mans hair. He couldn't imagine where he would be if not for this man. He couldn't imagine his life without him, but tonight, for the first time, he tried, and the mere thought left his heart aching. The discussion had come up first earlier that week. Dorian wanted to change his homeland, Cullen knew that, he knew it long before now, long before they even became lovers, but somehow he convinced himself that he wouldn't leave. He knew it was foolish denial but he thought that they would never be separated, but it had been a year now since Corypheus was defeated and Dorian's position in the Inquisition was becoming less relevant by the day. He was still part of the Inquisitor's inner circle of course, and one of the best arcane researchers they had, but he was no longer vital and he felt he could do better elsewhere.

They had spoken of it at length that night, and while it had briefly come up that he go along, neither of them truly expected it to happen. Dorian didn't ask, he wasn't going to, he wasn't selfish, as much as he liked to make others believe so. He wasn't selfish and he had a strong sense of duty, he would never as the Commander of the Inquisition to leave his post, but Cullen had offered. Dorian responded with some cleverly worded rebuttal littered with flirtations and compliments about how the Inquisition would be much to bland if the two most handsome men left all at once, and something about how the soldiers would trip onto their own swords without Cullen there to keep them in check. 

When that didn't work and Cullen opened his mouth to argue he had been cut off when the mage slid into his lap, brushing his lips lightly over Cullen's before moving along his jaw, muttering some clever innuendo that Cullen couldn't remember for the life of him because at that same moment he was being distracted by the mage grinding down on him. A technique the mage used every time the conversation came up again, because when deflection didn't work for him he resorted to distraction, and Cullen was too weak for the man to fight it. The same happened tonight. 

While they had spoken fairly in depth about what would happen in both the circumstance that he did accompany Dorian on his endeavor and if he did not, it was also brought up as to _when_ this would all be happening. Tomorrow Dorian would present his plans to the Inquisitor, the three of them, Leliana, and Josephine would meet at the war table to discuss it, and if approved Dorian would be leaving in one years time. He had assured Cullen he did not have to choose whether he join him or not until the year was up. 

Cullen thought he had more time, and he pleaded with Dorian that he put it off longer, knowing that he did not truly want that. He wanted Dorian to do this, if solely for the reason that Dorian wanted this, but he panicked at the thought that one year from then, his bed could be empty, that his Dorian would be gone from him for what could be years with nothing more the correspondence binding them. He couldn't stand the thought and lashed out with unjust anger, only to be met with Dorian's just anger. They had argued for some time before Dorian pushed him up against the wall with kissing him roughly. Shortly after they fell into bed together, and when they were finished Cullen tried to imagine his life without Dorian for the first time since they started their relationship. 

_One year_ Cullen thought to himself looking fondly, if not also sadly, at his lover, gently brushing his finger along the mans defined cheekbone. He had a thought in that moment, and the next day, after the war table meeting he made sure to catch Josephine's attention. Which proved to be difficult as she had immediately started making notes on what would need to be done to assist Dorian on his endeavor, completely enthralled in her work. Cullen was slightly jealous, both Josephine and Liliana would be greatly needed to assist Dorian in trying to change the politics of his homeland, Cullen had no relevant expertise, any efforts to help politically from him would prove lacking and possibly make things worse. 

"Oh," The Ambassador startled slightly when she looked up from her clipboard after reaching her desk, only to realize Cullen had followed her. "My apologies, Commander, what can I do for you?" Her smile was polite as she sat in her chair, but her eyes held a slight sadness. She was a good friend to Cullen over these past years and knew all of Cullen's tells, she was more than happy to exploit them during cards, so she knew that Cullen was upset by the thought of Dorian leaving. 

"I know that you're very busy lately, but I have a... personal favor to ask. If you have the time would you stop by my office later?"

"But of course," she replied with a more genuine smile, her eyebrows raised slightly in curiosity. "There is a Comtesse visiting later today that I must greet, and I would like to finish making plans on how to approach our Tevinter contacts, though I am sure they will be more than happy to assist Dorian, while the idea's are still in my head. Perhaps I will stop by during supper? It has been quite some time since we shared a meal."

"That would be great Josie, thank you," Cullen said, offering a kind smile before taking his leave, still smiling to himself as he made his way to his office.

 

"Oh that's wonderful Cullen," Josephine said excitedly, almost bouncing in her chair across from Cullen at his desk.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Cullen asked after swallowing the role he was chewing. 

"Of course, it's very romantic," Josie said pulling a notebook out of one of her pockets and picking up a discarded quill from the desk. Cullen reached over to pick a cookie off of her plate while she was distracted. "I assume you asked for my help to decide what color to get it in?" She asked. 

"Yes, since I'm not of a noble family I have no family colors, nor an emblem to put on it," he said brushing crumbs away from his mouth as Josephine glared at him after noticing the empty space on her plate where the cookie was. "If I was still a Templar it would be customary just make it the orders colors but that wouldn't really make sense. To make it anything related to the Inquisition colors or insignia doesn't quite feel personal enough. I thought perhaps using the colors of house Pavus, black and gold do suit him, but he is not on good terms with his family."

"Red is a popular color for more common families is it not? A symbol of passion and love," the Ambassador said, giving Cullen another glare as she pulled her plate further away from him when he reached for one of the grapes she still had left on it. The man had the decency to look at least a little guilty at being caught. "It could be made of the same material as your cloak."

"Hm, he's not very fond of the color red, but that could work," Cullen said thoughtfully as he leaned back in his chair, no longer able to pick scraps from his friends plate. 

"Pavus is Tevene for peacock if I remember correctly, perhaps blue? It is his favorite color is it not? We could have the pattern of peacock feathers embroidered on it. Actually I think that would be a bit to gaudy, even for Dorian," she paused for a moment to think before pushing her plate towards the Commander, who was staring longingly at it, with a slight role of her eyes. She trailed the feather end of the quill in circles on the desk for a moment, seemingly lost in thought before continuing. "Perhaps you have no family emblem, and nor does Dorian since he has left his family, but maybe you could mark it be something that symbolizes something to the both of you? I agree that to have it related to the Inquisition at all would miss its mark, you need to establish that your relationship is larger than just your shared duty, but perhaps something else."

Cullen sat for a moment, chewing the last of Josephine's food stroking thoughtfully at the stubble on his chin before motioning for the quill in Josephine's hand. He then pulled a blank scrap of paper from the pile he kept on his desk and started to draw on it. He made a disgruntled noise before crumbling it and grabbing another sheet, drawing slower this time, brow furrowed in concentration. When he was done he held the paper up and made a slightly satisfied noise before handing it to Josie. 

"You'll have to get a better artist to recreate it for the actual thing, but what do you think?" Cullen said, biting his lip waiting for a response.

"It's wonderful Cullen, I love it, and he'll absolutely adore it," she said with a wide, delighted grin. 

"Great, I, thanks," Cullen said blushing slightly at the complement. "I think it should be on the same material as my cloak, like you said, and the embroidery should be in gold I think."

"Yes I think that would look best," Josie agreed. "I could have it delivered to you within three days if you'd like."

"That would be fantastic Josie," Cullen said, standing to hug his friend before she was on her way, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Oh, and, if you could keep this between us, though I'm sure Liliana already knows somehow, I would be grateful."

"Of course Cullen," she said with one last smile before leaving. 

 

Josephine was good on her word and three days later a scout came to his door with a pouch, Cullen thanked her before sending her on her way. He pulled the rolled up fabric from the pouch, too small to be a scarf to large to be a ribbon, and ran his fingers over it. It matched his cloak perfectly and was soft to the touch. He smiled down at the intricate symbol on it before tucking it in his pocket and making his way to the library. 

It wasn't difficult to convince Dorian to join him in the garden for an afternoon stroll. They enjoyed the late spring warmth as they walked arm in arm, admiring the work of the gardeners. Back when they were first seeing each other Dorian would never have done this, he was terrified of what would happen if people saw them together. He still flinched away from many public displays of affection, but he had come so far and Cullen was so proud of him. When they finally sat down for a game of chess Cullen was wriggling in his chair, eager for the right moment to give his gift to Dorian. 

"Everything alright Amatus?" Dorian asked with a smirk, one eyebrow raised as he took in the sight of his lover fidgeting, giddy like a child with a secret. 

"I have something for you," Cullen said, unable to wait any longer, blushing at the eagerness in his voice. He stood and walked around the chess table to Dorian. 

"Oh well I do love being showered in gifts my dear," Dorian said, watching his lover quizzically, unable to keep himself from grinning at the mans excitement over whatever this mystery gift might be. Cullen then knelt down onto the ground next to Dorian and pulled a strip of fabric from his pocket.

"May I?" He asked and Dorian nodded, his brows knitting, slightly confused. He watched as Cullen curiously as the man tied the fabric around his exposed bicep. When he was done Dorian examined it. It was made of the same material as Cullen's cloak, which made Dorian smile a bit. At the center of the fabric, facing so that it was easy for Dorian to see it, was a beautiful, golden, embroidered lion. It was intricate and absolutely perfect, the craftsmanship was amazing, and instead of fur where the lion's mane should be it was instead circled with peacock feathers. It was absolutely gorgeous but...

"Wow, Cullen, its beautiful. What... what is it?" He almost regretted asking when Cullen's face fell a little, but he quickly recovered his smile, talking Dorian's hand in both of his, eyes soft and fond as he gazed up at him. 

"It's a token. It's customary in Ferelden for someone to give one to the person their courting. While, technically we are no longer courting," Cullen stopped to clear his throat, scooting closer to his lover. "It's meant to be a symbol of commitment. I should have given you one long ago but, better late than never," Cullen explained, shrugging with a shy smile. 

Dorian couldn't help but gawk for a moment. He had received many gifts in his life but none have ever meant this much. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't think of a way to possibly express what this means to him. He stands abruptly and Cullen looks up at his, eyes wide for a moment before Dorian pulled him up into a passionate kiss. 

"Happy you like it," Cullen murmurs against Dorian's mouth, wrapping his arms tight around his waist. Dorian pulled away from him before leaning in to seductively purr "Come back to our room and I'll show you how much I like it," into Cullen's ear. Cullen smiled to himself, blushing a bit as he followed Dorian to their room.


	2. A companion

Dorian sat alone in the library, holding Cullen's token in his hands, examining the intricate details of the lion stitched onto it. He spent so much time staring that he could recreate its likeness with his eyes closed. For some reason it made him think of his birthright, the mark of his family. For so long he felt like he no longer had a family, but Cullen chased that feeling away, made him feel like he had a home. He let himself believe that Cullen was everything he denied himself for so long. He imagined a long life, together, growing old, raising children.

It had been two months now since he decided to leave for Tevinter and the hurt on his Commander's face made his heart ache. 'There's no you in Tevinter' he had said so long ago, when they found victory against a would be god, and had to really consider the future for the first time. He meant it back then, and he still meant it now. He knew Cullen wouldn't go with him. He knew when the thoughts of returning to his motherland started outweighing his use for the Inquisition, and he knew when Cullen had offered to join him. This was Cullen's home, and he was still needed, but it didn't hurt any less when last week the man confirmed that, no, he would not be joining Dorian in his endeavor.

They where now on a time limit, in ten months they would be separated and they spent every waking moment possible together. It had been agreed that Dorian would return after a fifteen months in Tevinter, two years at the longest, but much could happen in that amount of time. What if Cullen grew tired of waiting? Found someone more convenient, someone who wouldn't leave him for so long? What if while he was gone Cullen realized that he didn't actually love him? No. He couldn't afford such toxic thoughts. They had worked so hard to keep him from acting like this. They worked so hard to chase away his self doubt and loathing. Cullen had told him a thousand times over how loved he was. 'A symbol of commitment' he reminded himself running his fingers along his token.

Cullen had left for Honnleath four days ago, he wouldn't say why, nor did he tell Dorian why he couldn't go with him. The mage didn't want to impose on any family matters but it made him uneasy when the Commander acted so secretive. They had been incredibly open with each other, sharing the dark scars of their pasts, baring their shattered hearts so that they could piece themselves back together with the help of one another. They knew each others folly and foils. He trusted his Commander, his Amatus, but being parted like this? It was agony. He knew he was being melodramatic, dramatics where his forte after all, but with their limited time he hated not being by his lovers side.

He was lost in his thoughts of his beloved when he heard the pitter patter of little paws in the library. When he peaked around the corner of his alcove towards the stairwell the movement caught the eye of the little ball of fur that every patron of the library was now cooing at. The puppy yipped in excitement when it made eye contact with the mage, and started bouncing towards him, barely big enough not to trip over its own oversize paws.

"Why hello there," Dorian chimed, kneeling down to pet the small creature in greeting. "What can I do for you, hm?" The puppy, a mabari of course, had to barely be old enough to be parted from it's mother. It's short hair was a golden blond color everywhere except its brown ears and muzzle. It yipped happily at Dorian's attention, tiny pink tongue darting out to lick at the mages fingers, tail wagging so rigorously it knocked itself over, earning a hearty chuckle from the man as he moved to pick up with wriggling pup.

"And who do you belong to may I ask? I'm sure they'll be sick with worry when they notice you've found your way up the stairs, though I don't blame you, not many other places worth a second glace here are there?" he chatted idly at the dog as he checked for any type of tags indicating where he should return the little pup. It didn't have an actual collar, instead a large red ribbon was tied in a bow around its neck, and instead of tags a small note stuck out of the bow. It wasn't signed, it didn't need to be, he'd recognize that handwriting anywhere.

 

"What is this?!" Cullen dropped the reports he started organizing while waiting for his lover on the floor with a quite curse as he startled when Dorian burst through the door. He stared wide eyed at his lover, who was cradling his new puppy to his chest, much like a baby. The mage was glaring at him, ignoring the eager kisses the puppy was happily placing on his face.

"Well?" Dorian asked.

"Oh," Cullen perked up a bit, collecting himself after Dorian's dramatic entrance. "It's a puppy, my love," he said walking over to pet the little creature as it squirmed in his lovers arms. "Maybelle, my sister's mabari had a litter recently and I wanted to get you one of the puppies."

"And why exactly did you think that was a good idea?" the mage snapped, pulling the dog away from Cullen's reach, causing the small thing to whine.

"I, well," Cullen gawked at his lover for a second. He wasn't entirely sure what sort of reaction to expect from the man when he decided to get the puppy for him. His sister had kept him updated on Maybelle's pregnancy for some time, and he thought to ask Dorian if he wanted to adopt one of the puppies, but decided instead to surprise the man.

"Since I won't be accompanying you to Tevinter, I thought perhaps you'd enjoy the company. She seems to have really taken a liking to you, but if you don't want her-"

"Oh, you can _not_ give me the most precious puppy in all of Thedas and then just think that you can just take it away," Dorian said, cradling the dog closer to himself, away from Cullen's outstretched arms. A grin split across the blond's face at the sight of his lover like this, holding the dog so adoringly, it set his heart aflutter.

"Then you like her?" Cullen stated more than asked, as he scratched behind the happy puppies ears when Dorian finally let him close enough.

"Well yes, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm _leaving_ in ten months. And what? I'm just supposed to add taking care of a puppy to my list of responsibilities? I don't even know how to raise a dog, Cullen, let alone by myself," Dorian's wore an annoyed expression but Cullen could hear the waver of emotion in his voice.

The puppy apparently sensed her new human's discomfort and immediately tried to comfort him with more kisses to his face before he placed her on the ground. For a moment she stared up at Dorian, as if to make sure he wasn't going anywhere, but then started taking in her new surroundings. Having free range of the Commander's office, she bounced around taking in every new sight and smell.

"You won't be raising her alone. Until you leave we will raise her together, and mabari grow fast, she'll be almost full size when you leave for Tevinter," Cullen stepped in close to his lover, wrapping his arms around him and showering his face with his own kisses. "You don't have to take her with you if you don't want to, she can stay here with me."

Dorian relaxed a bit in his lovers arms, and the Commander pulled him closer for a kiss. He felt Dorian's lips pull into a smile against his own before the man pulled away, just far enough to rest their foreheads together.

"I'm assuming that this is quite a big deal in Ferelden, yes? You barbarians practically worship the creatures," Dorian said pulling the rest of the way out of Cullen's grip. He bent to scoop up the puppy again. "This must be monuments to you. I say, does this mean we're married now?" Cullen rolled his eyes at his lover.

"What are you going to name her?" He asked.

"I'm not quite sure," Dorian said furrowing his brows a bit as he looked down at his pup. "I've never had to name anything before."

"You've never had a pet before?"

"Oh, of course I have, in fact I still do. Nobilis, but Felix named him for me, said I couldn't just keep calling him 'the monkey'. He was a birthday gift, exotic pets are all the rage in Tevinter, and is currently being watched by a dear friend. I'll be bringing him back when I return. I hated to part from him, but I couldn't guarantee I could take care of him in the south when I fled. Also he despises sea travel almost as much as I, he will dread the Waking Sea when we return."

"You... you have a pet monkey?" Cullen gaped at his lover.

"Yes? I'm surprised I haven't mentioned him before. Leaving him behind was the hardest part of leaving home. He was incredibly helpful in both combat and research, and surprisingly good company. Also he's absolutely charming, in his own devilish way. Sera will probably adore him," Dorian responded as if it was the most normal thing he had ever said.

"I... I'm not entirely sure how to respond to that," Cullen admitted after a long pause, and Dorian smirked at his baffled look. "How could you have forgotten to mention you have a pet monkey?"

"I'm not sure. I suppose the topic never came up," Dorian said with a light shrug. As he opened his mouth to speak the puppy let out a pathetic whine. "Jealous already, little Amatus?" He said, his attention immediately turning to the whining pup, a smile curling his lips as he nuzzled the little creature. Cullen smiled at his lover before also snuggling up to the puppy.

"So no ideas for a name?" He asked.

Dorian paused for some time, brows furrowing in that way they always did when he was thinking to hard. Finally his smile returned as he ran his fingers over the puppies soft, golden fur.

"Aurelia," he decided, holding the puppy up. "Would you like that?" The puppy yipped out in excitement, as if to announce her approval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowow, I haven't updated this in forever, even though this chapter has been almost done for weeks. Anyway this is mostly a filler chapter to introduce the puppy, also shout out to the monkey from my fav Dorian concept art. God this fic is sickeningly fluffy I can barely even stand to look at it XD. I just really love happy Dorian. This chapter isn't one of my best, but like I said it literally just exists to intro the puppy, so stick with me a bit the next one will be better I promise.  
> Un-beta'd as usual

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god I've been working on a very depressing angst modern au and really needed a break from it. This was originally going to be a courtship fic but I wanted to write one with an established relationship so this is what we get. It'll probably be like 4 chapters unless I get any more cute gift ideas. Also no one could possibly convince me Cullen wouldn't be the kind of dude to take food from his friends plates, I totally didn't write that in because I do it all the time, not at all. 
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](Av-mello.tumblr.com)


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